1,998 CIRCLES

Alta Loma High School, 4/20/01


And have you ever looked at a girl to see maybe even if she was looking at you looking at her?
If there was a word for the feeling there was whenever she'd give you a hug, then why are you so sure you know you feel unsure?

I think I mind not what my mind thinks, not only what you think of me
And I don't think I mind I think you blow my mind
I wonder if you could ever know that I often wonder if you could ever know I wonder if I could ever talk you sometime...

I watch the time on my watch fade away like the days that I must have forgot
When I watch and know you're watching me
I dream of words I could've said to her to tell the friend of your best friend
Had I had now the courage I needed then

Or have you ever lied now, and told her that you just want to be friends,
Then you cry and live so hopelessly?
Although it seems unlikely, your never knowing, you know that's what keeps you going
And how could a girl like that like me?

I know that I will get what I deserve,
Hopefully someday so will you
(Alone) But right now time is like a collogue in my mind:
(Days) Frozen, wasted, and confused,

Well, my life without you

Photo by Joel Fisk

EMBELLISHMENT

Where are you in life?
Where the hell am I?
Does my circle fit into your square?
Do you care?
It seems the only trait we share is that we both breathe air

But you need the clean, aquamarine, and me, every breath I take is laced with chlorine
A limited amount of space where I can be myself,
Should I free myself for my mental health?

To settle is to give up, thought that I could be happy with what I got,
Obviously not, I must have forgot the time I got caught flirting with my girlfriend squirting tears at the coffee shop
Oh, how I'd love to be one of those lucky human beings born with better genes,
God stitched right at the seams, but I'm just lil' ol' me,
Supporting by sporting band's tees is my steez,
"All I need is me" is a fallacy,
I want a girl with a 'grindcore' mentality,
A jazzy personality, porn star sexuality,
How 'punk rock' would we be?

It's like a voice inside of me:
"B, fear no loss, let go of everything!"
But loyal I remain...

Do you think of me, do I....
Sprinkle pink sparkle in your eyes?   (I live for the)
Make you be giddy at odd times?   (I yearn, I pray, I)
Turn on excite you all night long?   (For you to write this)
To sell one's soul is to write one song

Your slight brush up against me, accidentally, oh so gently hints of the subtleties of love left unnoticed by some, unknowingly demising fates of galactic empires to come,

It's why, when combined, negative one and one is none

It seems the only care we have is that we ain't never had a care
It seems you're unaware every time I look at you, and then you catch me stare
It seems you wanna call me 'all-in', but I'm still playing solitaire
It seems life's so unfair, you'll probably end up with a millionaire

ANDROMEDA

 

 

Was so unsure with what I'd find when our galaxies did collide

A cosmic samba through space and time,
Binded by god, and I'm left starry-eyed
But when all my fears are confirmed, I find I can't help but write cheesy lines like:

"I guess I'm destined to be alone" and "I don't have a reason to live"
You always make fun of the way that I breathe     *sigh*
Yet, I can't seem to get you out of my dreams...
Oh, why me?

And I can't fathom a way I can compete for your curves
And I'm just so happy to be alive
I decide to allow the universe to unfold
I read "The Power of Now" and "A New Earth" by Eckhart Tolle

Am I too short for you to see yourself with me?
I hand you my heart and you tell me you're picky
You say I smile too much - I frown more subconsciously
I try and work out, but somehow I still stay weak

 

Can't help my biology, you're so pretty it kills me

I analyze my approach, take mental notes, and study
I'm left compelled to act, god, what's wrong with me?

Then you call me back and once again I'm at peace

Why must I fall in love so damn easily?

I PONDER WHILE I WANDER

I ponder while I wander now, soon I wonder how long I'll stay ball-and-chained at my age
A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step, so my legs carry my smile with style

And this feeling I'm concealing within
You melt my mind like I've never known
What is it about me that makes me see what it about you?
But sometimes I'd rather walk alone...

I ponder while I wander well, maybe I'll excel rather than dwell on your farewell

And this feeling I'm concealing within
You melt my mind like I've never known (how can I just go on this way?)
What is it about you that makes you see what it about me?
But sometimes I'd rather walk alone...

Slow down, girl, we're moving too fast
This vast world may pass us by but this moment will always last
(I pray someday she'll say she'll stay)
With every path I take, the aftermath's heartache, so sometimes I'd rather walk alone

I ponder while I wander girl, if I could change the world, you'd be mine, forever entwined by design

You are the soul from my guitar, and me, I'm just a fool, to think that I could shape my fate
Is it true, I'm through with you? And you agree with me? I often wonder "where is she?"

So I ponder while I wander again
I pick up the pieces and learn how to live again
You're the one I'm crying for, I'm lying for, I'm dying for,

But sometimes I'd rather walk alone

DISARRAY

Showcase Theater, Corona, CA 3/17/06

 

Why do things just happen to happen to people they just happen to happen to?

Why am I just a teenage boy, and why must you be just a teenage girl, in this little world, where I am? It's such a coincidence...

That hair you wear, your special flair, grin and squint, tan skin, I swear!

I swear you know, but you're so far away,

My friends say I'm alone in disarray.

 

Why am I just twenty-something now, and why must you be twenty-something now, too,

On this marble of blue, where we play? It's such a coincidence...

The clothes you wear, your sarcastic stare, dark brown eyes, reflecting starlight glare

To no avail, my friends will blindly say chauvinistic things to try to sway me the other way,

But, no way...

 

I always act foolish if I feel this chance is real, not a dream, not my imagination, infatuation,

Life is like a tune: da da da doo

As summer days fade out, fall's here to stay, I give way, turn grey, decay, and waste away

 

And you don't give a damn about me,

And why should I give a damn about you, or what we could be?

You don't give a damn about our love, so why should I give a damn if you don't give a damn about me?

So doubt me, but I know you can't live without me,

My heart is like bamboo (it bends it doesn't break)

 

Nothing I do for you is good enough for you, as lame as this may seem,

I have a thing for you having a thing for me

This kid's jealousy is taking over me,

I guess I'll just get used to this

Life is only a series of events.....

 

Why do things just happen to happen to me?

Photo by Eddie Guevara